CONFESSIONS OF A BROKEN VESSEL

So, you may be wondering why I'm spending so much time on the subject of choices.  Well, the honest answer is, I'm just learning about this myself.

Over two decades in ministry and I did not have a full grasp of the power of free will.

24 years of marriage and I did not understand how powerful my choices were and how far reaching the consequences of my choices would be.

But I do now.

In January of 2009, at the ripe-old age of 39, I preached my final sermon as a full-time pastor of one of God's churches. I had been involved in ministry at some level since I was 14 years old. I made it through my teenage years and my (very) early 20's with only one goal in mind - fulfill my personal calling to be a pastor. At 21, I realized that goal when I took the senior pastor position at a small country church in Silsbee, Texas. Yeah, you read that correctly. I was 21 years old and pastoring a church.

That's not all. Not only was I a pastor, I was a husband too. My wife and I had married in December of 1989 when we were both 20 years old. You don't have to be a genius to figure out I was completely immersed in a level of responsibility that very few people are even aware exists when they are 20 or 21 years of age.

But, I had achieved my goals.  I had married the woman of my dreams and I was a pastor all before most people my age were even out of college.

What I thought was the beginning of a blessed lifetime of service and fulfillment quickly became a reality I was not even remotely prepared for.  All of my development and training had been focused on Bible doctrine, church administration, and sermon preparation. While I had witnessed some hardships suffered by my pastoral mentors, I somehow got it in my head that I would make it through the pastoral ministry unscathed by anything truly bad.

After all, wasn't I one of God's chosen vessels?  Hadn't God called me into His ministry at the tender age of 13? Hadn't God qualified and filled me with everything I would ever need to succeed in that calling?

Those were the assumptions and thought processes I took with me into ministry service. I fully expected that whatever challenges or hardships my wife and I would face in ministry would be met by our Rock, our Shield, our Mighty Fortress, and Strong Tower. I was fully convinced of my invulnerability based on my understanding of God's mercy, grace and love. After all, I reasoned, if God be for us....

In 1994, my wife and I moved from the small town confines of Silsbee, Texas and took a much larger church in a suburb of Houston, Texas. This was the "big time". I could not have been more excited to face the opportunities to minister to a larger audience and a much more fertile "field of harvest".

What was lost on me in my rush to get out of the small town and into the big city was a tiny fact about the church I was about to pastor. When they "hired" me in 1994, I represented the fourth pastor in four years for this church.  From 1990 to 1994, four experienced, veteran pastors had taken and left the position of senior pastor after serving for one year or less.

No matter what the details of each pastoral vacancy was, the obvious conclusion that anyone with a thimble-full of common sense would make was there was something very wrong with this church.

There was, of course.  It was a deacon-led congregation populated by older families; families that had been at the church for decades. These people had long-ago taken ownership of the church and saw the pastoral position as a necessary part of the church process. Unfortunately for me and my family, what I failed to notice in my youthful exuberance and inexperience was this church did not want a PASTOR, they wanted a preacher. Those are two entirely different roles that neither I nor the members of this church fully understood.

A pastor is much more than a preacher. The truest definition of the word is a "shepherd". If you know anything about shepherds it is that they are the defacto leaders of the flock. The shepherd is supposed to know where the best grasslands are for feeding, the best watering holes are for watering, and where the dangerous places are. He is supposed to use that knowledge to feed and protect the flock he has been charged with shepherding. That's just a nutshell version of the job. Obviously there's a lot more to it than that.

A preacher's job is much easier. All a preacher needs to do is just get up every Sunday and preach a sermon or two. Pretty much anybody can do this job and it is what most people assume a pastor's job actually is; just prepare sermons and preach them once or twice a week.  When you look up "gravy jobs" in the dictionary, "Preacher" is easily on the top five list. After all, a preacher only has to work one day a week, right?

When I took the position of "Pastor" in 1994, at the tender age of 24, I took it with the understanding that I was being brought in to pastor the church. The deacon-led congregation had no intention of letting anyone pastor that church but them; especially not some green, wet-behind-the-ears, 24 year old man-child.

I'll let you fill in the blanks as to how this adventure ended up.

When I resigned the church in 1998, I was a piping hot mess.  My faith in God was shattered into irreparable pieces. For four hard-fought years I had placed my full trust and faith that God would protect me and my family from my hard-headed, hard-hearted flock and we would emerge from the church battles victorious because GOD was our defender.

What happened in reality was the exact opposite of that. What happened to us was so far removed from what I was expecting from God that I allowed it to destroy my relationship with God, my wife, my family, and pretty much anyone on the planet that called themselves "Christian". I became a bitterly angry human being and when we left that church in 1998, I was emotionally and spiritually done with ministry work.

In 2009, I was physically done as well.

Yeah, it took me 10 years of stumbling and fumbling through ministry experiences before I finally made the decision to quit once and for all. I stayed in ministry more from a mercenary standpoint than a God-called shepherd. I needed money to pay the bills and ministry was all I knew; all I had trained for. So, despite the fact that my faith in God was all but gone, I kept trying to "do the work of the ministry".

Because I did not face my anger or take any steps to deal with and heal my hurts, I simply cultivated and nurtured that bitter root for a decade. Every run-in with a hard-headed Christian just added to my anger. Every church fight or crisis with a disgruntled church member was just more bricks in the wall I was building between me and God, my wife, and my family.

I became depressed to the point of suicidal thoughts. I was completely shut down and simply lost any desire to do anything more than just live and survive as best we could.

I took my anger out on my family most of all. Nothing was good enough for me; especially at home. No matter what my wife and kids did to please and appease me, it was never enough. My poor wife took the brunt of my rage on more occasions than I can possibly recount and while it didn't get to physical abuse levels, the emotional and spiritual damage I caused her was as potent and destructive as anything I could have done to her physically

Because of the choices I made to embrace my anger and bitterness, I was transformed into the very people I had been fighting in these churches. Instead of choosing to deal with my anger in healthy and healing ways, I chose to take each church fight and disgruntled church member episode as further evidence of God's impotence, apathy, or mythological status. By the time I finally resigned from my pastoral position, I was convinced God was either a fabrication of man's fevered dreams or a sadistic deity that was not worth my time much less my worship.

So in 2009, after over 20 years of preparing, training, and serving God in ministry, I told Him what I thought about Him and His kingdom and where He could stick it and I walked away from it all vowing to never return to another church for the rest of my natural born life.

That was my choice and I exercised the power of that choice in as loud a manner as possible. God help the poor soul who crossed my path and tried to "preach" or instruct me in the ways of God. If you were a Christian at that time and made the mistake of letting me know about your affiliation with Christ, I was rarely gentle in sharing my opinions on the matter.

For two years I lived in a self-centered world of personal abuse. I abused my body with alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. I embraced every aspect of life that I had abstained from in my 20s and chased after the pleasures of the flesh as if the cure for every problem I had could be found in them. I made very selfish choices and powerfully destructive decisions that are still resonating in my life today; much to my shame and regret.

For two years, I did everything in my power to destroy everything God had ever given to me and in 2011, I very nearly succeeded.

God got my attention when my abuse and horrible decision making finally led my wife to conclude she and our children would be better off without me than with me. Faced with the prospect of losing my family, I was forced to do the one thing I was vehemently against doing...go to God.

My return to God started where all journeys with God start, with His Word.  I had not cracked open a Bible since my final sermon. I could not have even told you where my Bible was during all those years of my running. But, when I finally was brought to the point of decision to start the process of restoration or fully and completely sever all ties with God, my Bible appeared on the floor of my bedroom.

I remember the morning God spoke to my broken and battered heart. It was very early on a Sunday morning. As usual, I was unable to sleep and after a few hours of futile tossing and turning, I reluctantly picked up my Bible from the floor and made my way to the kitchen. I angrily tossed the book onto the table and flopped it open. In my heart, I scoffed and laughed at the entire exercise. In my mind, opening this book was a waste of time. God had not spoken to me in years and apparently could not give less of a crap about where I was or what I was suffering.

I remember the battle in my heart and mind was so strong I could literally feel my chest weighing down with the pressure of the moment. I wanted nothing more to do with God but somewhere deep within me I knew that my family's future was hinged on the decision I was about to make with Him. If there was any hope for me and my family to survive my bitterness, I would have to swallow my rage and my pride and simply look at the open Bible laying in front of me.

I looked. The Bible had opened to Lamentations. I remember laughing at the title of the book. "Good", I thought. "I'm not an ancient Jewish city besieged by Babylon so there won't be any meaningful message for me here. I'm safe."

I started reading chapter one of Lamentations and with each verse I read, I felt a sick form of vindication. I believed God, if He existed at all, did not care about me or have any desire to speak to me. I felt if He wanted to talk to me through His Word, He could easily manipulate the book to open where I needed to read it. After all, in much more peaceful times, He had done it before. But, after I read fifteen verses of the first chapter in Lamentations and saw nothing of any relevance to me in any of those verses, the shattered remains of my faith in God were ready to be permanently swept from my heart.

Then I read verse 16 and time stopped.

My wife has always had a collection of spectacular spiritual gifts. One of them is her ability to hear from God in real time. I've always been jealous of her gifts as I also wanted to hear from God in real time. She would remind me often that my communication gifts have been more dependent on the Word of God. She would tell me on many occasions that God can speak to me through the Bible more than any one else she's ever known.  I've used that gift on several occasions throughout my life and she's been more right than she could have known.

God does speak to me through His Word and He was doing it again in Lamentations 1:16.

"For these things I weep; my eye, my eye overflows with water because the comforter who should restore my life is far from me. My children are desolate because the enemy prevailed."

It was a 2x4 to my hard head. It was a sniper shot right into my hard heart. God did not pour flowery words of comfort and peace onto me. He hit me with a singular truth that I did not want to hear.

I was where I was because of me. It wasn't those hard headed church members. It wasn't the years of abuse from hard hearted Christians. I was where I was because of my decision to run from my Comforter. I was facing the desolation of my family because of my choices.  I was not in any position to be restored because I had decided to give myself to bitterness and anger instead of giving myself to Him. The enemy of my soul was winning because I had used my gift of choice very, very poorly.

I have not cried that hard in a very long time. Remorse and regret slowly turned to repentance. Like King David in front of Nathan, the full scope and magnitude of my sins had been shown to me and I was faced with what would be the ultimate decision; stay angry and die or repent and live.  Restoration or die in a wilderness of my own making.

The choice I made that morning saved my life and the life of my family.  The decision I made started me on the road to recovery and full restoration.

I say "started me on the road" because one decision in a moment of revelation does not instantly fix or transform. There is a process for restoration and healing that I am still in. Hence the title of this blog "Musings From The Kiln".

I am writing to you, not from a position of full healing and complete restoration but from a position of being restored.

I am writing to you from the Potter's Kiln and what He is teaching me about Himself and His methods of transformation are life changing...

It is about those methods that I wish to speak to you.

Our journey with God starts with the decision that Joshua placed before us. If you have chosen God as your master, there is a lot about the journey with Him that you need to know. Information I wish I had been in possession of before I ever left Silsbee, Texas. Information that would have radically changed my life and saved me and my family from a lifetime of heartache and pain.

It is my desire and prayer to pass this information on to you...

..Stay Tuned...

YOUR WAY OR YAHWEH?

"Now therefore, fear the Lord, serve Him in sincerity and truth, and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the River and in Egypt. Serve the Lord!" - Joshua 24:14

Quick question, why would Joshua instruct God's people to "put away the gods which your father's served" if they did not already have those gods in their possession?

Quick answer, because Joshua knew man's propensity to return to their natural "instincts" if they did not use their gift of choice properly.

We are all creatures of habit. One of the worst habits we tend to collectively have is the habit of seeking the path of least resistance.  We like smooth roads with no bumps. We don't like obstacles, stop signs, or traffic lights.  We certainly don't like other people slowing us down.  Most of us are conditioned to seek the most trouble-free course along our journey.  We want comfort and ease and will work extremely hard to provide ourselves with as comfortable a lifestyle as possible.

Ever wonder why God didn't take Israel on a straight course from Egypt to Canaan?  Ever look at a map of ancient Sinai? It doesn't take 40 years to travel from Egypt to Canaan; even on foot.  In 40 years time, Israel could have walked from North Africa to Iceland and back again with time to spare.

So, have you ever wondered why God took them on the route that He did?

God's path is not easy.  If Israel had any misgivings about this fact, their exodus from Egypt and subsequent campaign to conquer the 'promised land' removed all doubt. God's path isn't about the destination as much as the journey. God's isn't interested in creating a kingdom of self-willed, disobedient, whiny, complaining, unhappy children.  He's all about maturing us, filling us with Himself, and teaching us how to be submitted, obedient servants.

Worshiping golden calves is much easier than submitting to God.  Idols are easy. They make no demands and have no expectations save what we create for them.

But God requires things from us.  He requires us to trust Him even when it looks like He is nowhere around. He expects us to obey Him even when His instruction does not make a lick of sense to us. He expects us to choose His Word, Will, and Ways above all others, including our own.

That is hard.  That is very hard.  In fact, without God empowering us to consistently trust, obey, and follow Him, we cannot do it.

Which is why we tend to gravitate to the easier path of worshiping the idols of our fathers.

That is why, in the face of this basic understanding of human nature, Joshua instructs God's people to put away their idols before he invokes the power of choice in the very next verse:

"Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve..."

The message couldn't be clearer. The proper usage of the gift of choice is to ultimately commit to who we'll be giving ourselves to; God or the enemy of our souls.  There is no grey area here.  No middle-ground.  It doesn't matter if you agree with this conclusion or not; the facts are the facts. We are going to be serving SOMEONE with our lives and the identity of our master is completely dependent upon what we do with the gift of free will.

Joshua completed his statement by telling everyone within the sound of his voice what his decision had been and would continue to be until his dying breath.  He was 'all-in' with Yahweh. There really are no examples in scripture of Joshua wavering on this point. From the moment we're introduced to him to this final chapter in his life, Joshua is a fantastic example of what God can do with the life of an individual who has chosen to trust and obey Him completely.

For example:

Joshua survived God's death sentence for the first generation of Jews (Numbers 14:29-30 and Numbers 14:38 ).

Joshua was used by God to supernaturally defeat the enemies of God's people - Exodus 8-13

Joshua was one of only a handful of people privileged to serve in the original Tabernacle - Exodus 33:7-11

Joshua was among the first to see the "promised land" as a spy - Numbers 13:16

Joshua was hand-picked by God to succeed Moses - Numbers 27:18-22

...and the list goes on.  Do you think Joshua accomplishes any of these things (and so much more) if he misuses the power of choice?  Do you believe we would be talking about Joshua 4,000 years after his life if he chose the path of least resistance?  Do you think there would be a book in the Bible named after him if he hadn't decided to go "all-in" with Yahweh?

The power of choice is in every one of us.  The decision in front of us is simple; God's way or ours.

Again, there is no grey area. If you desire a victorious, Holy Spirit filled life then you'd better understand the cost for that life.  Fence straddlers need not apply.

Basically, the power of choice boils down to this: we will never experience everything available to us as children of God until we choose our master, once and for all.

The choice is ours.  It is within our power to unleash the exact same God that Joshua experienced in our everyday lives or to severely limit God's participation and render the omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient God all but powerless in our lives.

It all depends on how we use the power of choice.  We must all choose. But choose wisely.

Which master you choose to give yourself to will determine if you're going to walk in your God-called destiny or just wander in the desert.

Stay tuned...there's more to come.

DECISIONS, DECISIONS...

"And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourself this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." - Joshua 24:15

We've all seen this verse.  Many of you may even have the last sentence of this verse cross-stitched, embroidered, or printed somewhere in your home.  I've even seen it tattooed on someone.  It's a great verse and it preaches really well; especially that last sentence.

"But as for me and my house, we will..."

The most powerful of God's gifts to all mankind is in this verse. In fact, it is right here in this simple sentence.  

The gift is free will.

The power on display is the power of choice.

The power of choice is unique to humanity.  There are no other creatures on this planet who possess this gift. We're it.  We're the ones God chose to empower with the ability to decide.  Every other creature on the planet, from single-celled organisms to the most sophisticated mammal are governed by instinct.  Turn on the Discovery Channel or Animal Planet and watch how animals act. All of their needs are met by their natural instinct to build shelters or form communities, kill for food, pro-create, and unleash their young upon the world to continue this instinct-driven cycle till the end of time.

That's their existence.  Survive by instinct.  Till death do they part from the Earth.

Man's existence is completely different.  God did not create us to simply survive by instinct.  He gave us the ability to reason, to discuss, to debate, and to decide. Individually speaking, God has given each of us abilities and talents to (potentially) solve problems, create better methods, and improve our existence through ingenuity and technology.  Man is the only creature on the planet that truly "evolves" from a social, organizational, and technological standpoint.

Animals don't evolve socially.  You won't travel to Africa and find a city built by lions. You'll never find a Chinese village built by and exclusively populated by tigers.  You can walk every inch of Colorado and never find a town built, inhabited, and run by bears. What you will find is the same instinct-driven existence that lions, tigers, and bears have lived by since the beginning of time.

But man has evolved.  For millennia, man has built cities, erected monuments, created empires, and invented technologies to better their existence.  For countless generations, mankind has used their unique collections of abilities and talents to completely transform the Earth from the Edenesque paradise described in Genesis to the reality we all live in today.

I'll leave it to you to conclude if that transformation has been beneficial for mankind or not.

All of human history has unfolded the way it has because of the gift of choice.  Every city that was ever built owes its existence to the choice someone made to build it.  Every monument ever erected started with the decision to create. Every empire in existence was birthed from the decision to conquer. Everything that has ever been done in the history of humanity has occurred as the direct result of the power of choice; for good or for ill.

I'll repeat myself again. This gift of choice is the most powerful gift God has given to mankind. 

You have this gift and if used properly, it is guaranteed to empower you to completely transform your life for the better.

But, and I cannot emphasize this enough, if used improperly, this powerful gift will absolutely destroy you.

How does the gift of choice destroy us?  Well, I'll get into this in more detail in later blogs, but for now you need to know that if we use this gift improperly, we can put ourselves in the same position as the beasts of the field; surviving our existence purely by instinct.

But, if we choose properly...

So, what is the "proper" way to use this gift?  Well, I've got some great news for you. God not only gave us this gift, but He left us with instructions on how to use it. Easy instructions. Instructions so simple a child can understand them.

In fact, the verse in Joshua is a prime example of just how easy those instructions are to understand.  Of course, understanding the instructions and following them are not the same thing.

For example, let's look a little closer at Joshua 24:15:

The setting of this chapter is beautiful. Israel has been in their "promised land" for many years now. They have enjoyed an unprecedented season of victory, provision, and blessing from God.  Literally hundreds of years of struggle and hardships are finally at an end and God's people can finally enjoy the benefits that come from being God's chosen people.

The speaker is Joshua; God's hand-picked leader of His people.  Moses usually gets the lion's share of the credit for leading Israel out of Egypt (and rightfully so) but for all of Moses' accomplishments, Joshua was the leader who accomplished what Moses could not - lead Israel into their "promised land".

Joshua has been here since the beginning.  He was one of only two people to survive the entire Exodus journey from Egypt to Canaan. Now, after an extraordinary lifetime of following God, Joshua is about to die of extreme old age and he has a few parting words of instruction to share with God's people before he passes on.

Now, it is common knowledge that most people near the end of their lives love to reminisce about the good old days and Joshua was no different.  But, Joshua wasn't just interested in reminiscing. In two short chapters, Joshua does two things for Israel:

One: He reminds Israel of the true source of all of their victories and their current peaceful and prosperous living conditions complete with a warning not to stray away from that source unless they want to see first-hand what life without God's power and favor looks like (Joshua 23).

Two: He gives Israel a God's-eye view of their history from Abraham to present time (Joshua 24:1-12) concluding with the revelation that they are now enjoying the benefits of God's provision by receiving from God "a land for which you did not labor, cities which you did not build...and vineyards and olive groves which you did not plant." (Joshua 24:13).

All good reminders for us all and especially for the Israelites listening to Joshua's trip down memory lane. But, Joshua wasn't just an old man reliving the past. He had a point to make and he makes it brilliantly in verse 15.  He shows Israel the simplicity and the power of God's gift of free will by not only instructing them to use it but by giving them an example of its proper use.

Again, chapter 24 comes at the end of Joshua's life.  That point is important when you consider His declaration "As for me and my house...".  Even on his death bed, he is showing Israel the proper way to use the gift of choice. An impressive attitude and a testimony of faithfulness that is impossible to ignore. Joshua was a leader till the end because of his decision to "serve the Lord" no matter what life threw at him.

And that, dear reader, is the point. We're going to dive deeper into the power of this gift in the next few blog entries. But for now, I need to leave you with a parting thought for you to ponder until next time:

Why do you suppose the subject of Israel's power to choose is so important to their dying leader? What was he so concerned with, do you suppose?

That's a rhetorical question, by the way.  Joshua's own words contains the answers to these questions in a verse that I've been skipping on purpose until now:

Joshua 24:14

...to be continued...

FIRST STEPS...

Want to hear a secret?  If I tell you this secret you have to swear to tell everybody you know about it.  You can't just keep it for yourself.  If I share this secret with you, it has to go beyond this blog or there will be Hell to pay.

Okay, you may want to get some paper and a pen so you can write this down.  I mean, this secret is pretty big and I don't want you to miss any of it.  Actually, you know what, I'm writing this for you so you can skip the pen and paper route.

Ok, ok....I'll tell you what it is.  Are you ready?  Ok, here it comes:

God has given you a gift that, if used properly, is guaranteed to radically and permanently transform your life for the better.

Yeah, I know. You need more explanation.  Don't feel bad, so did I the first time I heard this.  Tell you what. You stay with me for a little longer and I'll do more than just explain this gift to you, I'll show you how God wants us to use this gift to discover something that every single one of us desperately needs from Him.

But first, let me set the stage...

I think I can be safe in saying there isn't a man, woman, or child on this planet that hasn't wondered "why am I here" at some point in their lives. I know I've pondered this question many times for many years.  You might say I've become a sort of expert in asking, seeking, and knocking.....especially the asking part.

I imagine if God were capable of reaching eye-rolling levels of frustration with his children, I'd be among the top ten on that list.  Ah, who am I kidding...I'm easily in the top three on God's "Oh, great it's HIM again" list, if such a list existed.  I have bombarded the throne room of God with so many "why" questions that my nickname in heaven has to be "The Whys Guy".

I don't want to leave the impression that I'm challenging God in an act of faithlessness when I've asked these "why" questions.  Ok, so maybe SOME of them have come from a less than faith-filled place, but overall my search has had a deeper goal in mind than simply finding solutions to undesirable situations.

The deeper reason behind my questions is ultimately to discover my purpose for being here.  I have an inkling of an idea that every thing that has happened in my life has been divinely guided (if not directly appointed) for much larger reasons than to simply test my faith or teach me a life lesson. You might say I am driven with a very deep hunger to not only discover my personal purpose but to help anyone God puts in my path to find theirs.

Understand, I'm not talking about God's surface-level purpose for our lives.  I mean, I'm not talking about going to church, praying prayers, or some kind of duty-bound level of "service".  Truth be told, I've tried doing all of that for years and the results of living that kind of existence is, frankly, dry, boring, and powerless; especially in the face of unwanted trials.

Now, don't get me wrong.  There's nothing inherently wrong with doing any of those things.  Going to church is usually a lot better than going to a lot of other places (like a bar, or the hospital, or prison).  You certainly can't go wrong with praying and volunteering for church service is hardly a waste of your time.

But I'm not talking about any of that stuff.  I'm talking about knowing in your core why God put YOU on this Earth and learning how to consistently, habitually, and permanently walk in that purpose.

Thing is, discovering God's purpose requires us to ask a lot of questions...even the forbidden "why" question. I've asked God "why" since I was a newborn-again Christian.  My analytical mind has always had trouble just accepting things as they are; especially in the face of faith-challenging tribulations. I don't like cliches. I hate spiritually-sounding phrases that have no power behind them. I despise being told "well, there's a reason for everything" without immediately following that statement up with the reason.  In fact, I've probably upset more than a few of God's well-intentioned people who shared that particular nugget of impotent 'truth' when I was going through a difficult season of life.

At the risk of sounding proud and arrogant, I don't want empty platitudes and memory verses.  I want to see my Rock, my Shield, my Mighty Fortress, and my Strong Tower at work in real time.  I want to see my Great Shepherd lead me through the valley of death. I want to experience my Redeemer's redeeming power in the here and now, not just in the sweet by and by.  I want to walk with the I AM of scripture, not just hear about the I WAS of antiquity.

In other words, I want God to be real or I want no part of this journey.

Let's face it. Being a Christian is hard.  Don't believe me? Read the sermon on the mount (Matthew 5-7) and just try to live by the instructions found in those chapters for a day.  Try it for a few hours.  Try it the next time someone spitefully uses you. Try loving your enemies.  Try not looking lustfully at an attractive member of the opposite sex.  Try not worrying when things are going bad.  Try doing ANY of the things Christ insisted was necessary to live as a follower of His with any consistency.

I'll repeat.  Being a Christian is HARD.  It's unnatural.  We get hurt, it is in our nature to hurt back, not "turn the other cheek". When we experience hardships, we want to fix the situation immediately not wait patiently for a mostly silent deity to get around to helping us in our time of trouble.  If we're heartbroken, we don't want to be comforted, we want solutions that will end the heartbreak; especially in the face of life-altering tragedies.

Yeah, living the Christian life is very difficult...especially when we are the ones trying to live the Christian life.

Actually, now that I think about it, living as a devoted, committed follower of Christ isn't just difficult...it is impossible without a full understanding of this single God-given gift that every single one of us has.

So, what's the secret to this gift?  I'm glad you asked and I promise I am going to tell you everything He has taught me and is still teaching me about it.  But first, I need you to read something from the scriptures.  It's kind of a starting point for the journey we're about to start together. Here, let me drop it right here for you to read:

Joshua 24:15

This is the starting point for learning the secret to God's gift and His purpose for you.  As with all things in life, our journey with God, especially just how far we're going to go with God, begins and ends with our choices.

So, I'm going to leave this thought with you and pick it up in more detail in the next blog.

Do you realize just how powerful our ability to choose really is?

....stay tuned...we're just getting started.